It is a common trope in the genre of science fiction: what happens when we have developed our computer technology so far that the machines become self-aware? Hopefully it will be a good number of years before we come to this point, however an equally disturbing occasion has come to pass: self-aware celebrities.
Okay, so not counting outliers like Tom Cruise, celebrities have always had a certain degree of awareness of public perception of them. However, they’ve had the decency to keep it quiet. But it was only a matter of time before they learned how to use the internet, and now they have the audacity to demonstrate this skill in real life by recognizing and poking fun at popular celebrity memes.
At first this development seems harmless, and even quite funny. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg recently gave an interview with NPR in which she admitted that she is not only aware of the popular Notorious RBG Tumblr meme, but that she even jokes about it with her grandchildren and keeps a large stock of Notorious t-shirts at home that she gives out as gifts to visitors.
Freaking adorable, right? This little old lady and her internet memes.
Well here’s where it starts to fuck your mind: there’s the popular Tumblr post in which someone warns of the dangers of snorting marijuana with a photo of their deceased friend, Becky. When someone pointed out Becky’s resemblance to country/pop/not-really-country star Taylor Swift, the original poster responded with a brusque, succinct, “no its becky.” Well just a few weeks ago, Taylor Swift stepped out of the house in a plain yellow t-shirt that proclaims on the front, “no its becky.” Which leads to the haunting question: who is Becky, really?
Is she really dead due to her valiant attempt to innovate new and exciting methods for intaking marijuana? Did she ever really exist? Or maybe Becky and Taylor Swift are one and the same! Is this a Vertigo/Hannah Montana situation? I don’t know the truth, but I do know that I am confused and scared and feel like Taylor Swift is taunting us with a deep dark secret to which only she holds the key.
It makes me long for the day when the internet could run rampant making jokes and memes about celebrities without the celebrities dragging them out of the interwebs and making me confront it in reality. I go to the interwebs to escape that shit.
Here is where I must advise all but the most courageous to stop reading this article, for the final tale is too grim for those of a weak constitution. Heartthrob and “Hey Girl” feminist Ryan Gosling recently went out into public in noteworthy t-shirt as well. It featured a Life magazine cover from back in the nineties of adorable child actor Macauley Culkin.
Well even though the only internet provider that can reach my house on S Street is the incompetent and endlessly frustrating Comcast, apparently Verizon or somebody is laying down XFinity cables in whatever cave deep in the heartland of Mordor that Culkin crawled into after his the star of his childhood fame imploded.
Image: Yahoo! Celebrity